The Fiend Inside

Wakaranai

My actions are what is expected of an anime,
Yet the reactions I receive are not those of this world
Watashi no sekai ja nai

I don’t understand

Why I am so animated in such a dull reality.
Yet, I try to believe that that reality is like my one.
Do I truly exist here

Je ne comprends pas

Why no one seems to understand me,
Why death doesn’t strike any emotion but shock in this reality
Am I not human

I don’t understand

I can’t hear the sound of that world,
The noises of everyday life, crumble before they reach my ears
Am I purposely blocking it

Wakaranai

Why? Why don’t I see colour anymore,
No, at all
It bleeds out of buildings and people,
Must I always cling onto it with a lens
Am I empty

Je ne comprends pas

Why food is tasty in two dimension
And almost inedible in three
Why food from that world does not excite me
Am I bitter

I don’t understand

What is warmth in that world?
The opposite constantly attacks me
When my guard is low
Even the living seem like machines
Is it telling me something?

 

I’ve got it now

I’m existing with a fiend inside
It makes me act strange
And humiliates me
So it can feed its own desires

Wakatta

It gives me energy to be
Somehow
I wonder
Is it fond of me?

Je sais maintenant

Death is only a game for it
But it realises I should be human so…
No one understands me and my soul
Because no one else has a curse like me?

Wakatta

My fiend wants only foreign music
-the reason why I can’t bear
To remove the device from my ear
… Or are we just scared of what’s beyond?

I’ve got it now

I delight in bringing the world’s attention to me
However, often I’m contradictory
I hate when they attack my strangeness
Yet it’s thrilling to be spoken about
I’m the new phenomenon
Wait a second
Am I a masochist?
Or is this more to weaken the fiend in me

My story is still being written
Whether it’ll end is one mystery
Who is holding the pen is another
When will I be free of the fiend inside of me?